Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
