U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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