Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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