So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize