I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
