just tell him i said nine months
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
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