none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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