She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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