I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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