Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm sobbing to NWA
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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