Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
