Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
