I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
