There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
