It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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