he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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