I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
