Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
farters have to be the big spoon...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
