It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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