yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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