Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
