Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
