If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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