idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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