Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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