I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
