he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
