Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
