My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
and she was petting her beer can
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
