and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize