Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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