1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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