At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
