Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
