He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
