Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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