Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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