Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
