No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
