I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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