I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize