good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Actions speak louder than pants.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
