Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
