I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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