he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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