this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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