yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
