This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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