Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
