She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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