Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
