so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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