your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
