Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
