Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
