Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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