I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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