I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
