i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
