So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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