I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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