I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She told me I should be a condom model.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
whose parrot is this?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
