i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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