If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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